I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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