3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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