I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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