i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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