please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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