At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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