Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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