Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
