am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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