I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
