can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize