she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
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