I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize