I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
