it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
