He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
