I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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