We're facebook friends in real life
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
