At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize