It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I have aggressive nipples.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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