Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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