Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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