you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize