That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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