So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
