yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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