Acid is not a monday night drug
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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