Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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