I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
