he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
