Sry I called you an 8
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
