I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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