wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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