I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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