dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
