I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
