Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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