she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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