I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
