why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
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He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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