chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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