You work out of a Hotel?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.