uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?