The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
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I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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