fuck your aforementioned shoe
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize