found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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