your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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