I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
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There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
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I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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