If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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