saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
